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I'm not sure if I'm writing this for me or for anyone who reads this (one, maybe two people at most), but I feel like i need to write it down somewhere, and I'd like it if people got something out of it.

So today was one of the hardest days of my life... but I've learned so much from it.
Today we had to bury one of the girls I used to go to school with. She was just sixteen when she passed away from cancer, after a short illness of just a few months. The ceremony was gut-wrenchingly, painfully emotional and one of the hardest things I've had to sit through, especially since when I left my old school, I never said good bye to her and we never spoke again, and let me tell you there is just one thing I regret in my life - and that is it. I usually say that I don't regret things no matter how bad or embarrassing they are, because they brought me to where I am today, but if I could change anything, I would go back and I would hug her, and say thank you for being my friend.

Nobody should ever have to say their final goodbye to their sixteen year old girl, especially when she was the healthiest, happiest, cheekiest person I've ever known. True to her sporty personality, she signed up for soccer the afternoon before she passed. This just shows you how cancer can attack anybody, at any time, and it shows no sympathy for age, gender, fitness, personality, race, sexual orientation, appearance, height, weight, socio-economic status, or anything else. It picks its victims and as morbid and disheartening as this is, you never know who'll be next, so embrace every single second that your heart still beats. Live every moment. Use every sense to explore each minute. Watch the sunrise. Listen to the wind. Taste the exotic foods you've always wanted to try. Feel the warmth of a hug. Smell the air after rain. Never let a moment pass you by.

After I got home this afternoon, I naturally reflected on what just happened for a few hours, cried a bit, spoke to some people, and eventually calmed down. Then at 10:48pm, I hear a massive crash outside and I go out to investigate.. Turns out, a drunk driver crashed in our street and rolled his car just outside my house. All I could think of was how dare this man risk his life like that because he couldn't be bothered with the hassle of a taxi. How DARE he. Now, I am in no stretch of the mind religious, in any way shape or form, but I still believe that life is a gift, and you get one shot at it - some people aren't even given that. Think of how many young people, children and infants die each year. They didn't get their shot at life. He did. For this man to risk his life and come very very close to losing his, all by a choice of his own, I feel very deeply insulted. By some fateful lucky chance, this man climbed out of his car, his only injury being the alcohol to his brain cells. Had he not been so lucky, or had there been a pedestrian or a passenger in the car, the situation would not have been anywhere near as pretty and not only would the victim be affected, but every person that cared about them would have been hugely impacted in a way I can't even put into words, and that seemed completely inconceivable until it happened to me.

[Thankfully the police were called (and I had to file a police report), however the man ran away before they got here and he is currently 'at large', so of course I won't be sleeping tonight out of sheer paranoia, on top of being utterly distraught over the death of a friend.]

All of this has made me cherish my friends and all those I care about so, so much. Anybody reading this, I don't care if I've spoken to you once in my life or if we have nightly phone conversations for hours on end. I love you from the bottom of my heart and I want you to know that. If we haven't spoken or seen each other in a while, call me or contact me somehow and I'd be thrilled to go catch a movie and have some lunch with you. Today, in every eulogy, people close to her said how much they will treasure her laughter and keep it with them forever, so laugh as much as humanly possible. You won't regret it. More than anything, lately I just don't want to let good friends slip away. Friends are like aeroplanes that will carry you from high to high in your life, but they'll also be there when you're low to stop to refuel and when you need a bit of maintenance. If you ask anybody what a plane does, they'll answer 'fly', they won't even acknowledge the time they spent on the ground being repaired by others, and the time they spend lifting off and returning to that high. I wish that everyone would focus on the highs of their friendships as much as they focus on the highs of planes.

Don't spend your days and nights focused around the negative things concerning other people. Do your best not to bitch, stick up for your friends even if it might cause a little fight between you and the people bitching. Trust me, the people who spend their time centering around other people and their lives forget to live their own, so they don't get all too far in life. If you freak over the small things and you focus on the negative things you get sucked up into this vacuum of negativity and sorrow and just like in a real vacuum, light can't travel in it, so it becomes very hard to celebrate the good things that happen. If a friend wins an award, give them a hug and tell them you're proud, don't weep because they got it instead of you.

Avoid conflict over trivial things. It'll only get you down. Ask yourself  'will this matter in 5 years time?'. If not, shut your mouth, calm your senses, and if need be, have a civil talk with the person that's getting to you and quietly and sensibly talk it out. The day I learned you shouldn't raise your voice, talk over people, or ignore what other people say whilst "fighting", my way of approaching bad things changed and I very very rarely have fights with people now. Part of me couldn't be bothered because I'm the first to admit that I'm supremely lazy, but the rest of me knows its because I don't want to spend hours, sometimes days of my life that I'll never get back, focusing on something which in the long run, means nothing.

As much as this sounded like one giant complaint about how much my life sucks, or me being on my high horse trying to tell everyone how to live, I just wanted it to be something that would impact people's lives and make them realise that being here and feeling the blood in your veins and the pulse of your heart beat rushing through you is such a privelige, and there are so, so many things on this planet that want to take that away from you, so you've got to hold onto it for dear life and embrace every second. If you got nothing out of this, please at least get this.
--> Cherish every moment you live, and embrace the moment and explore it with all areas of thought and mind.
--> Love everyone you come across, until they give you a reason not to. Even then, try and forgive them for it, so that you too can heal.
--> Focus on the positive things in life, and don't get sucked into the vacuum of negativity.
--> Don't allow old friends to get lost in time. Pick up a phone or write an email and stay in contact.
--> Again, just live every moment of your life doing what you love, surrounded by people that love you. Embrace the moment.

gay rights

Taken from </a>princess_yowen

"Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?" - Ernest Gaines.

We would like to know who really believes in gay rights on livejournal.

There is no bribe of a miracle or anything like that. If you truly believe in gay rights, then repost this and title the post as "Gay Rights". If you don't believe in gay rights, then just ignore this.


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.



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